CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
