I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
