sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
