just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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