I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
wow bdsm is so cute
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
