break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
