the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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