haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
