I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
