walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
