i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
