i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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