the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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