I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
