yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think I died a long time ago.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
