if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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