He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
