Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
