God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
