so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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