can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
