Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
