This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
