I love black thongs
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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