It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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