your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We need to rekindle our bromance
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
