when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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