even my farts smell like vagina
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
