hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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