I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
