Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
