He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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