Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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