People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I cannot find my penis.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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