the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
