We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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