Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
