you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
