yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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