are you still at the devil's house?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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