Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
