Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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