I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
