Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
well you can't waste a boner
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
