I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
In America we eat man semen.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
