possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
