Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if you like me you must not know who I am
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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