What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
