Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
