i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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